When selecting a picture to put at the top of this page, I was scrolling through the photos Mick (my fiance) and I took during our camping trip in the Grampians, and I was reminded about the common emotional journey undertaken while Mountain Climbing.
Looking at the peak from the ground, the emotional reaction is conflicting… It is a beautiful sight, and the thought of being up there, inspirational. However, also quite daunting. The ascent starts and we are chatting away about whatever pops into our heads.
After a while, I start breathing faster, and can feel my heart pounding in my chest. The spring in my steps becomes a bit less bouncy. Eventually I really need to stop, have a drink and catch my breath. From there on in the climb becomes harder. We hardly talk because I need all my breath, my focus is on my feet or the path ahead as I loose some of my agility. I start to feel as though i can’t go on any further and stop to catch my breath before calling it a day and going back down.
As I sit down, I notice the view. All the beauty I had been ignoring in order to keep my feet on the ground. It is spectacular! Like no other experience in the world, it is as though a new world has unfolded while I was climbing. Suddenly I remember why I decided to put myself through this, and I am filled with a new motivation to keep going. This cycle continues, as each time one of us runs out of steam we stop, comment on the view and congradulate ourselves for still being alive :-p
As I was looking through the pictures (each one taken on one of the breaks along the way) I realised that is very much how I feel living with a chronic illness. At first I was very positive that with rest it would soon go away and therefore enjoyed the time on my own doing nothing. Later down the track however, I often feel as though I push myself through the days, wondering if I can find the strengh to go on. Every now and then, mostly when I am at my lowest, I find some inspiration to keep going. Sometimes it is my animals being funny, sometimes a visit from a family member or a reminder that others deal with much steeper mountains every day.
Whatever it is, I thank the Universe and remember how important it is to lift your head once in a while. Otherwise it is so easy to forget the benefits of this journey!
