I turned 28 yesterday – Very mixed emotions going around my head regarding my birthday…
If I think about it, a lot has happened over the past year: Mick and I got engaged, we moved house, I learned a lot about managing the CFS and have learned a lot about myself. Really some big achievements if I think about it.
However I have also experienced a lot of loss: moving from a house I felt comfortable and safe, realising I will probably not be able to return to the very demanding job of kindergarten teaching at least for a long time, having all the specialists tell me there is nothing they can do anymore… and the list goes on.
I am coming to terms with my new role in life (sometimes I wonder if I have one lying in bed most of the day), and trying to work out what my life means to me at the moment – big questions. On top of that, being unwell makes me much confident in myself in so many ways… the most obvious being my appearance as I do not have the energy to keep up a lot of the “beauty grooming” such as shaving, eye brows etc and have had to shave my head.
I had lunch with Mick’s and my families on Sunday, which was really nice – although exhausting. I nicked off in the middle for a ’shut down break’ (see below) but I have still crashed as a result! I do really appreciate his family being so welcoming and caring, especially at the moment. His mum gave me a ‘afternoon tea set’ and Mary Poppins the sing-a-long version which was so thoughtful considering my current lifestyle.
I guess birthdays are always a time for self-evaluation and I am trying to see the achievements I have had considering the challenges I have faced… Not easy for a perfectionist :-p
On the plus side, Mick got me pastels and good paper for my birthday, so I have been spending the little energy I have had experimenting and having fun… Yay!! (with my tea set of course)
