On Monday I threw my back out by rolling over when I woke up. If I’m to tell the whole story, it really begins on Sunday when Mick’s parents came around for lunch. Usually I don’t spend any more than half an hour to an hour on our couch because it doesn’t support my back well at all, however with visitors I had no-where more supportive to sit if I was to spend any time with them. The stress on my back meant that after sleeping and seizing up, it only needed to move and it went out.
This happened as Mick was saying goodbye on his way to work. The pain was so intense that I was gagging and couldn’t move. All day was excruciating, despite taking Nurofen+ but the most difficult part was not being able to move. I had a respite worker come around for 2 hours which was helpful and she helped me to the bathroom and back, and into bed again.
This is not a one-off. Every time I come close to chemicals – cleaning products, fragrances, cigarette smoke etc I loose all ability to move my muscles, get a terrible headache and nausea etc. Not to mention the times when I have done too much and ‘crash’ (too much can be talking on the phone for 30min or standing in the kitchen for more than 5min.)
It is a lesson in humility. For someone who is used to being independent, it is quite an experience to be so dis-abled that you need someones help to use the bathroom. Showering and dressing etc. is one thing, but there is a different element of helplessness when it goes that far. It is a feeling you can’t imagine unless being in the position yourself.
Millions of people experience this every day of their lives, and for those of us who have an “invisible illness” it can be made harder by the fact that people don’t even acknowledge that we are unwell. Mick’s parents will never know the impact that their visit had on me (which is fine by the way because I am still too embarrassed to discuss it that openly with them).
We never know what someone else is experiencing, which makes it so important to be compassionate regardless of what we think we see!!!
